Appreciation Practice

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Two short experiments for noticing — and acting on — what's right.

This is a two-week practice — a small daily discipline that, in our experience, shifts how partners see and treat each other faster than any single sit-down conversation can.

What's inside

Exercise One — A week of noticing. For seven days, pay deliberate attention to your partner's positive qualities.
Exercise Two — Five days of acting as if. For five days, behave as though you already love and appreciate your partner — even if the feeling isn't there.

Your name

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Start date (a Monday makes the seven-day rhythm easier)

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Before you begin: 'Acting as if' can feel artificial. That's normal — the point is to interrupt a pattern, not to lie about feelings. If a negative thought about your partner pops up, use it as a cue to recall two or three good things instead.

A gentle note: This worksheet is a learning tool, not treatment. If your relationship currently includes abuse, ongoing harm, or active crisis, please work with a qualified couples therapist instead.

Exercise 1 — A week of noticing

Sentence starters: 'I really liked ___.' / 'It was nice to notice ___.' / 'They are ___ in a way I appreciate.'

Day 01

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Day 02

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Day 03

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Day 04

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Day 05

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Day 06

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Day 07

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Exercise 2 — Five days of acting as if

Do one loving, one caring, and one appreciative thing for your partner each day — even when you don't feel it.

Day 01 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

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Day 02 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

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Day 03 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

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Day 04 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

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Day 05 — Loving / Caring / Appreciative

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After the practice — what shifted

What changed in how you saw your partner?

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What changed in how they responded to you?

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Where did this practice break down? (data, not failure)

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One small thing you want to keep doing

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Keep the one thing: You only need to carry one habit out of this. Pick the smallest one you actually did, and keep doing that.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

Staying Close, from The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program. Stay close in ordinary weeks: small daily moments and a short check-in that fits you both.
The Love List, from The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program. The Love List for neurodiverse couples: twenty specific things that make you feel loved, read aloud in session and posted where you see them.

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