Home Rules Contract

This is the form itself. Every family member named below is agreeing to follow the rules and consequences written here.

If you have not decided how to choose your five behaviors or what makes a consequence useful, work through "Home Rules Contract: A Guide for Families" first, then come back and fill this in. Give a blank copy to everyone who will sign, teens included, and fill in the final version together.

This contract is for the ______ family

e.g. Family last name

______________________________________________

The Five Rules

Write the expectation clearly enough that nobody can say they misunderstood it. Then write the consequence for breaking it and the privilege that stays in place while it is kept. Only write consequences you are willing and able to enforce.

Rule 1

e.g. The expectation, stated plainly

______________________________________________

Rule 1 — consequence

e.g. What happens when this rule is broken, and what happens if it is broken again

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 1 — privilege

e.g. What stays in place while this rule is kept

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 2

e.g. The expectation, stated plainly

______________________________________________

Rule 2 — consequence

e.g. What happens when this rule is broken, and what happens if it is broken again

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 2 — privilege

e.g. What stays in place while this rule is kept

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 3

e.g. The expectation, stated plainly

______________________________________________

Rule 3 — consequence

e.g. What happens when this rule is broken, and what happens if it is broken again

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 3 — privilege

e.g. What stays in place while this rule is kept

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 4

e.g. The expectation, stated plainly

______________________________________________

Rule 4 — consequence

e.g. What happens when this rule is broken, and what happens if it is broken again

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 4 — privilege

e.g. What stays in place while this rule is kept

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 5

e.g. The expectation, stated plainly

______________________________________________

Rule 5 — consequence

e.g. What happens when this rule is broken, and what happens if it is broken again

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Rule 5 — privilege

e.g. What stays in place while this rule is kept

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Family Agreement

Every family member involved in this contract names themselves here and confirms they agree. Read the five rules out loud together before anyone checks a box. Leave blank any rows you do not need.

Parent or caregiver 1 — name

e.g. Full name

______________________________________________

• [ ] Parent or caregiver 1 — I agree to these rules

Parent or caregiver 2 — name

e.g. Full name

______________________________________________

• [ ] Parent or caregiver 2 — I agree to these rules

Other caregiver 1 — name and role

e.g. Full name, and how you are related (step-parent, grandparent, guardian)

______________________________________________

• [ ] Other caregiver 1 — I agree to these rules

Other caregiver 2 — name and role

e.g. Full name, and how you are related (step-parent, grandparent, guardian)

______________________________________________

• [ ] Other caregiver 2 — I agree to these rules

Teen or child 1 — name

e.g. Full name

______________________________________________

• [ ] Teen or child 1 — I agree to these rules

Teen or child 2 — name

e.g. Full name

______________________________________________

• [ ] Teen or child 2 — I agree to these rules

Teen or child 3 — name

e.g. Full name

______________________________________________

• [ ] Teen or child 3 — I agree to these rules

Teen or child 4 — name

e.g. Full name

______________________________________________

• [ ] Teen or child 4 — I agree to these rules

Date we agreed to this contract

e.g. MM/DD/YYYY

______________________________________________

Date we will review and renegotiate it

e.g. MM/DD/YYYY

______________________________________________

Privileges a teen has asked to earn by the review date

e.g. Write down what they want to work toward — it gives the contract somewhere to go

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Everyone signs, or it is just a list: A contract one parent enforces and another quietly ignores teaches your teen which adult to ask. What makes this document work is not the rules — it is that every name on it is holding the same line.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Parenting, from The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program. The parenting session for neurodiverse couples: understand your child together, agree on what counts, share the load, and protect the couple.
• Your Family Operating Manual, from Parenting Autism. Pull the whole course into one living family manual, with a fridge-door page and a weekly huddle.
• Your Parenting Style Under Pressure, from Parenting Autism. Why stress pushes good parents into laxness or over-reactivity, the short-fuse neuroscience, the Parenting Scale, and repair after you lose it.