Pleasure Mapping

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Most adults can't describe what feels good with much specificity. We use generic words ('soft,' 'gentle') that don't tell our partner anything. This worksheet builds your pleasure vocabulary — and gives you a structured way to share it.

Safety note: This worksheet is for consensual relationships where both partners can say yes, no, wait, or stop without punishment. Do not use this worksheet to pressure sexual activity. If there is fear, coercion, retaliation, active abuse, trauma flooding, pain, shutdown, or dissociation, pause and use this with a qualified therapist.

How to use this worksheet

Each partner fills their own copy. Privately. As honestly as you can. Trade and read silently. No discussion until you've both read it. Pick three things you've never said out loud. Star them in your partner's copy. Try one new thing this week from your starred list.

Name

______________________________________________

Date

______________________________________________

Body zones — what works where

For each zone, write what works (and what doesn't).

Scalp / hair / face — touch type, pressure, kissing zones

______________________________________________

Neck / ears / throat — sensitive? Ticklish? What pressure?

______________________________________________

Shoulders / back — massage? Light tracing? Scratching?

______________________________________________

Chest / nipples / breasts — strong yes? Mild? Off-limits? When?

______________________________________________

Stomach / lower belly — light touch? Pressure? Avoid?

______________________________________________

Hips / inner thighs — on-ramp zone for many people

______________________________________________

Hands / wrists / fingers — often overlooked. What works here?

______________________________________________

Feet / legs — yes / no / depends

______________________________________________

Genital region — what touch, what pressure, what pace

______________________________________________

Other (write in) — any zone we missed

______________________________________________

Discussion & notes

Three things you didn't know feel that good: To either of you.

Something my partner does that I love but never named

______________________________________________

Something I want my partner to try

______________________________________________

A zone I want my partner to skip

______________________________________________

What we'll try this week

______________________________________________

Maps get redrawn: What feels good changes with hormones, stress, and time. Redo this map whenever your body seems to have moved on without telling you.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

Sex and Intimacy, from The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program. The intimacy session for a neurodiverse couple: what gets in the way, how to invite and say no, a touch card, and when to see a specialist.
Sex and Intimacy, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Sex and intimacy for neurodivergent bodies: sensory load, masking, direct communication, and consent.
ASIM-24 — Sex, Intimacy and Sensory Reality, from Autistic Self-Discovery. Sexual knowledge, sensory comfort, boundaries and consent for autistic adults, plus why this reverse-scored tool is unvalidated.

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