Writing Your Impact Letter

An impact letter puts the harm into your own words, across three movements: what happened, how it affected you, and what you need now. This sheet scaffolds your draft - you write and deliver the full letter with your therapist's support, often read aloud together in a session. The exact process varies by therapist and situation, so take it at your pace.

Your voice, not a weapon: The goal is to be heard, not to punish. This is a draft - you can revise it as many times as you need.

Movement 1 — What happened

Name the betrayal and how you experienced it, in your own words. This is about your experience, not graphic detail.

In my own words, what happened and how I experienced it:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

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Movement 2 — How it has affected me

Name the cost across the areas of your life.

My heart / emotions:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

My body / health:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

My trust:

______________________________________________

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My daily life and sense of self:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Movement 3 — What I need now

From him, from yourself, and going forward.

What I need now - from him, from myself, going forward:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

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What I most want him to truly understand

What I most want him to truly understand:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Caring for myself after I share it

How I'll care for myself after I share it:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

This is yours: You decide whether, when, and how to share it - often read aloud in a session with your therapist. You can't control how he receives it; the letter does its work for your voice regardless.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Your Impact Letter: Putting the Harm Into Your Own Words, from Healing After Betrayal. After the truth is told, your voice matters - a structured way to name what happened, how it hit you, and what you need now.
• Naming the Pain & Reclaiming Your Voice, from Healing After Betrayal. After betrayal, feeling arrives as a formless flood.
• Receiving the Truth: Formal Disclosure, On Your Terms, from Healing After Betrayal. The chaotic way you found out is not the same as a prepared disclosure - one you have the right to receive, on terms you help set.