Gender, Sexuality & Me

Lots of neurodivergent people explore gender and sexuality more freely — in part because we're often less attached to 'because that's just how it's done.' There's no finish line here and no label you owe anyone. This is just for you.

No labels required: You can use labels that fit, try them on loosely, or use none at all. Uncertainty is allowed and doesn't need resolving today.

Noticing

Without forcing a conclusion, what have you noticed about yourself?

What I've noticed about my gender and/or who I'm drawn to

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When have I felt most like myself, or most free, in this?

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The neurodivergent angle

Sometimes it's hard to tell sensory or social preferences apart from identity. You don't have to separate them perfectly — just notice.

How my neurodivergence and my identity might connect

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What feels affirming

Words, clothes, people, spaces, or ways of being that feel like me

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Safety & pace

Exploring is one thing; disclosing is another, and safety matters.

Who and where it feels safe to be open — and where it doesn't, for now

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Your pace is the right pace: There's no schedule for this. Affirming therapy or community can be a good place to explore further when you're ready.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Self-Esteem, Identity, and Late Diagnosis, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Why misunderstanding erodes neurodivergent self-worth, what late diagnosis really feels like, and how to reauthor your story.
• Masking & Authenticity, from The Neurodivergent Brain. How autistic masking (compensation, masking, assimilation) drives burnout — and what helps.
• Love and Intimacy, from The Autistic Woman. Dating, relationships, and sex as an autistic woman: confusing scripts, masking, consent as a gift, and sensory-aware intimacy.