A Shower Plan That Works for Me

If showering feels weirdly hard, you're not lazy or 'gross.' For a lot of autistic and neurodivergent people it's a genuine pile-up: the water can feel like sandpaper or be deafening, the bathroom is bright and echoey, and breaking the task into steps takes executive function that isn't always available. This builds a plan that works with your wiring instead of against it — including for the days you've got nothing.

Clean enough and kind: The goal here isn't a perfect daily routine. It's 'clean enough,' sustainably, without self-punishment. Something always beats nothing, and a hard day isn't a moral failing.

Why it's hard for me

• [ ] The sound of the water
• [ ] Water temperature or pressure on my skin
• [ ] Bright, echoey, cold bathroom
• [ ] Starting / the transition into it
• [ ] Too many steps; I lose track partway
• [ ] The cold before and after

Make the environment kinder

Things to try

• Dimmer or warmer lighting
• Unscented products and a softer towel
• A quieter extractor fan, or none
• Adjust the water temperature and pressure until it's right
• A bath instead of a shower, if that's easier
• The time of day you're most regulated

The tweaks I'll make to my setup

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Break it into steps

A set sequence removes the 'what now?' load. Write yours; hair-washing doesn't have to be every time.

Example: Water on → get wet → soap body → rinse → done. (Shampoo every few days, not daily.)

My step-by-step, in order

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Low-demand options for hard days

On a no-spoons day, these still count. Keep some on hand.

• [ ] A quick rinse, no full routine
• [ ] Body wipes / a flannel wash
• [ ] Dry shampoo

Anchor it

When/how often, and a cue to start (after X, with a podcast or music)

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A plan you can keep: A 'good enough' routine you actually follow beats a perfect one you dread and avoid. Build for your worst days, not your best ones.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Sensory Processing, from The Neurodivergent Brain. How sensory processing differs in autism, ADHD & AuDHD — hyper/hypo senses, stimming as regulation, and the hidden tax.
• Executive Function, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Why the ADHD brain runs on interest not importance, why autistic set-shifting is costly, plus time blindness & task initiation.
• The Body, from The Neurodivergent Brain. The physical side of neurodivergence: interoception, co-occurring conditions (EDS/hypermobility, POTS, gut, sleep), and sensory sensitivity.