Asking for What Helps

An accommodation is just a change that lets you do your best — the same way glasses help someone see. You don't have to disclose a diagnosis to ask for one; you can ask for the change itself. This helps you turn a vague 'I struggle with…' into a clear, askable request.

Need → barrier → request

For each setting that's relevant, name what's hard, what specifically gets in the way, and the small change that would help.

My requests

Work

• What's hard: ____________________
• The change that would help: ____________________

Healthcare

• What's hard: ____________________
• The change that would help: ____________________

Study / course

• What's hard: ____________________
• The change that would help: ____________________

Day-to-day

• What's hard: ____________________
• The change that would help: ____________________

Make it a script

Requests land better when they're specific and framed around doing good work, not around what's wrong with you.

Example: 'To do my best work, I focus much better with written instructions than verbal ones. Could you send tasks by email or message? It helps me get them right the first time.'

My work / study request, in my words

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

My healthcare request (e.g. first appointment of the day, written summary, dimmed lights)

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Anticipate the response

If they say no or push back, my next step is…

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

You're allowed to ask: A reasonable request isn't asking for special treatment — it's asking for access. Keep a copy of what you sent.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Work, Accommodations, and Advocacy, from The Autistic Woman. The autistic woman at work — masking, the open-office tax, the disclosure decision, accommodations to ask for, and finding work that fits.
• Being Believed, from The Autistic Woman. Why autistic women get dismissed in medical rooms — diagnostic overshadowing, the 'looks fine' gap — and how to prepare, advocate, and be believed.
• ADHD at Work, from The Adult ADHD Course. Why ADHD work struggles are about fit, not ability, and how accommodations unblock your strengths.
• What a Diagnosis Does and Does Not Change, from The Assessment. Accommodations, the paperwork that gets them, and what does and does not change after a late diagnosis.