More Than Fine or Angry

If your emotional vocabulary mostly runs 'fine,' 'tired,' and 'angry,' you're not broken or shallow - most men were handed a tiny set of words for a huge range of feelings, and autistic difficulty spotting emotions can make the rest hard to find. The good news: emotional vocabulary is a skill, and it grows. More words means more options than just shutting down or blowing up.

Naming it gives you a handle on it: You can't do much with a feeling you can't name. Putting a word on a feeling - even roughly - turns the volume down on it and gives you somewhere to take it.

My current settings

Honestly, what words do you actually use for how you feel? Tick them.

• [ ] Fine
• [ ] Good
• [ ] Tired
• [ ] Stressed
• [ ] Angry or annoyed
• [ ] I don't really know

Expanding the dial

Here are feelings that often hide behind 'fine' or 'angry.' Tick any you suspect you feel but rarely name.

• [ ] Overwhelmed
• [ ] Lonely
• [ ] Disappointed (in myself or others)
• [ ] Anxious or on edge
• [ ] Hurt
• [ ] Ashamed
• [ ] Content
• [ ] Proud
• [ ] Hopeful
• [ ] Grief

A feeling I probably have a lot but never say out loud:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Building the habit

Once a day, try putting one more specific word on it than usual.

My daily check-in moment (e.g., the drive home):

______________________________________________

Instead of 'fine,' a more specific word for how I feel right now:

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

This grows with reps: No one expects you to be fluent overnight. Every time you put a real word on a feeling, the skill gets a little stronger - and the people who care about you get a little closer.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Emotional Dysregulation & Alexithymia, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Why neurodivergent emotions hit harder, later, and longer; what alexithymia is; and how to build an emotional first-aid kit.
• TAS-20 — Alexithymia, When You Can't Name What You Feel, from Autistic Self-Discovery. What alexithymia is, why half of autistic adults have it, and what a TAS-20 score really means.
• The Neurodivergent Nervous System, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Interoception, the autonomic ladder, and your window of tolerance — why neurodivergent systems react harder and recover slower.