My Shutdown & Meltdown Plan

Shutdowns and meltdowns aren't bad behavior or a lack of effort — they're what happens when the load on your system outgrows your capacity to carry it. You can't always prevent them, but you can understand your pattern and make the hard moments shorter and safer.

My capacity lately

How much is left in my tank these days

Rate from 0 (Running on empty) to 10 (Full tank): ____

My pattern

Think back to recent times you shut down or melted down. What tends to come first?

What builds up beforehand (too much input, too many demands, masking all day, change)

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My earliest signs it's coming

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What it looks like

• [ ] I tend to shut down (go quiet, still, can't speak or move much)
• [ ] I tend to melt down (overflow — tears, anger, can't contain it)
• [ ] It can be either, depending

What helps me — during

In the moment, less is usually more. What actually helps you (or has helped before)?

Common helps

• Less sensory input — dark, quiet, fewer people
• No demands and no questions
• Deep pressure, a safe spot, a familiar object
• Time — not being rushed to be okay

What I can do for myself

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What helps from other people (and what does NOT help)

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Recovery / aftercare

Coming back takes time and energy. Plan for the after, not just the during.

What I need afterward to refill (rest, food, low demands, no analysis yet)

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Roughly how long I usually need to recover

Rate from 0 (Hours) to 3 (Days+): ____

A note of kindness: Needing this plan isn't a flaw. Knowing your limits and planning around them is a skill, not a weakness.

Share it

Who could I share this with so they know how to help?

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You are not the meltdown: A shutdown or meltdown is your nervous system overloading, not a moral event. The plan you wrote here is care, and it's easier to follow when the people around you have read it.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Meltdowns and Shutdowns, from The Neurodivergent Brain. The difference between meltdowns and shutdowns, what's happening in the nervous system, and what helps in the moment and after.
• Building Your Personal Regulation Toolkit, from The Neurodivergent Brain. The capstone: build a personal regulation plan around your wiring — name your state, match tools to it, catch overload early, design your space.
• Meltdowns, Shutdowns, and the Partner's Role, from The Neurodiverse Couple. Telling a meltdown from a shutdown from an argument, the iceberg of load beneath the trigger, what helps in the moment, and the plan you build in advance.