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Our Family Operating Manual
Twenty-two modules later, you know more about your child - and yourself - than most professionals who will ever meet them. This manual is where that knowledge lives, so 2am-you, next-year's-teacher, and grandma all get the benefit. Fill it in, print it, and put it where it'll be used.
Your family's keepsake: This is the deliverable of the whole course - one place for who your child is, the plans for hard moments, the school page, and your own care plan. Each page stands alone, so you can hand just one to whoever needs it.
Our family's name:
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Date:
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There's room to add a family photo or a drawing when you print this.
Our child, in one page (M1–2)
Name / nickname:
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Five things that make them THEM:
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How they communicate - and what it looks like when words are gone:
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Their deep interests right now:
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What they're afraid people think of them:
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The sensory map (M5)
Overwhelms (check + add specifics):
- [ ] Sound
- [ ] Light
- [ ] Touch
- [ ] Smell
- [ ] Crowds
Overwhelm specifics:
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Regulates (check + add specifics):
- [ ] Pressure
- [ ] Movement
- [ ] Music
- [ ] Chewing
- [ ] Dark
- [ ] Quiet
Regulate specifics:
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Early overload warning signs (in order, if known):
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Our exit plan in public (who says the code word, where we go):
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The meltdown & aftercare plan (M7, M13)
Before - pressure valves that help:
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During - what helps vs. what makes it worse:
Example — What helps: Fewer words, more space · What makes it worse: Questions, reasoning, touching without asking
Row 2
- What helps: ____________________
- What makes it worse: ____________________
After - aftercare menu (e.g., water, dark, weighted blanket, no post-mortem for X hours):
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What WE do to stay regulated while it happens:
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The demand-pressure valve (M8)
Our child's demand tells:
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Our lowest-pressure phrasings that work (declarative language - e.g., 'I see shoes by the door' instead of 'put your shoes away'):
Low-pressure phrasings:
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Standing low-demand escape hatches (the opt-out that's always available):
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The school one-pager (M16)
Designed to photocopy and hand to a new teacher as-is.
What helps in class:
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What escalates things:
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Accommodations in the IEP/504:
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How to reach us:
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One sentence about who our kid is, beyond the file:
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The parent-care plan (M18–21)
My earliest burnout warning sign:
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My non-negotiable weekly recharge (a protected slot - it can move, visibly, but it doesn't vanish):
Recharge - day:
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time:
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what:
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Who I call when it's bad:
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For my support person - fill in the blanks:
When you see ___ (my warning sign):
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...please ___ (what actually helps):
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If I'm neurodivergent too - my own accommodations at home (M21):
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Our family's strengths
What our family does better than anyone:
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A year from now, we hope...
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Signatures (kids too, any way they sign):
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Date:
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Put it on the fridge: This is yours now - the whole course, distilled into the people you love. Put it on the fridge or in the school binder. Anyone who reads it could keep your child safe, regulated, and understood for an afternoon. That's no small thing - that's you.
Go deeper
Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.
- Your Family Operating Manual, from Parenting Autism. Pull the whole course into one living family manual, with a fridge-door page and a weekly huddle.
- Meltdowns and Shutdowns, from Parenting Autism. Meltdown vs tantrum, shutdowns as the quiet exit, why shame outlasts the storm, and aftercare that works — a free module for parents of autistic kids.
- School: IEPs, 504s, and Advocacy, from Parenting Autism. IEP vs 504 in plain language, how to prep for a school meeting, keeping the file, and what to do when school itself is the stressor.
- Parenting Stress and Caregiver Burnout, from Parenting Autism. The load is real, refilling your cup isn't selfish, and asking for help halves it.