Sample Scripts Cheat Sheet

Scripted phrases sound unromantic until you try them. The script removes the cognitive load of phrasing under pressure. Agree on 2-3 phrases per category in advance, in writing, when the topic isn't loaded.

Safety note: This worksheet is for consensual relationships where both partners can say yes, no, wait, or stop without punishment. Do not use this worksheet to pressure sexual activity. If there is fear, coercion, retaliation, active abuse, trauma flooding, pain, shutdown, or dissociation, pause and use this with a qualified therapist.

How to use this worksheet

Read through the sample phrases. Star the ones that sound like you. Cross out anything that won't work — don't keep what won't get said. Write your own in your own voice. Practice them out loud, low-stakes (in the car, while doing dishes) — get them in the mouth.

Name

______________________________________________

Date

______________________________________________

Sample scripts — starter phrases

Inviting

• "Want to have sex tonight? Fine if not."
• "I am in the mood — are you available?"
• "Could we put intimacy on the calendar?"
• "I want you. No pressure if it isn't a good night."
• "Are you up for being kissed slowly?"

Declining

• "Not tonight. I love you and want you — not now."
• "I am at capacity. Reschedule for [day]?"
• "My senses are full. Hold hands instead?"
• "Body is a no, heart is a yes."
• "Tonight is too much. Tomorrow morning?"

Checking in

• "Sensory tank right now? 1-10."
• "Is this still good? Checking in."
• "Keep going, slow down, or pause?"
• "How is your body? How is your mind?"
• "Do you need quiet, words, or touch right now?"

Your scripts

The phrasing you and your partner have actually agreed will get said.

Inviting

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Declining

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Checking in

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Scripts are scaffolding: Agreed phrases feel wooden at first. That's fine. They hold the conversation up until you can improvise safely.

Go deeper

Ready for more? These lessons pick up where this worksheet leaves off.

• Sex and Intimacy, from The Neurodiverse Couples Repair Program. The intimacy session for a neurodiverse couple: what gets in the way, how to invite and say no, a touch card, and when to see a specialist.
• Communication Breakdowns and Misreads, from The Neurodiverse Couple. Everyday communication breakdowns in neurodiverse couples — missed hints, flat tone read as anger — and concrete skills to ask clearly and repair.
• Communication Across Neurotypes, from The Neurodivergent Brain. Why autistic and non-autistic people misunderstand each other: the double empathy problem, direct vs indirect styles, and cross-neurotype repair.